Friends and family tell you that you may be smothering your boyfriend. Sadly, some relationships are prone to end up in a similar smothering situation if one partner is overly dominant and controlling. You deserve a partner who's going to gas you up, be your equal, and nurture your well-being, and if your partner isnt willing to change, then these red flags are grounds for breaking up. If you are feeling smothered and without any freedom, the WORST thing you can do is lie to your partner. You lose your own sense of identity, interests and desires. Maybe its not that you think your partner is smothered in a relationship but that youre feeling that way instead. You might think youre doing something nice, but it could make them feel smothered in a relationship over time. Talk frankly about self-care and taking time for yourself. Is Love a Choice or an Uncontrollable Feeling? For instance, you may have been drawn to this person not only because theyre attractive, but they were in a vulnerable position and you wanted to help them. Do you feel that something or someone has changed in the relationship? If your partner is pressed to see what you're looking at online or who you're messaging, either one of two things is happening: Trust has been broken, or your partner is trying to control you (and depending on your relationship, the situation could be a bit of both). Any household task provides a similar level of independence, control, and pseudo-solitude, three aspects of their lives that they are desperately struggling to regain. How do you honestly feel about this person? It is never easy to tell someone that you might not be into them and need the space to figure it out. As love coach Monica Parikh previously told Elite Daily, "A controlling partner may feel entitled to have access to your email, phone, or internet history.. Do you hate it when you hear that some good looker has a crush on your sweetheart? You can speak individually and/or as a couple to get the advice you need. Feeling smothered is an awful feeling. The next time, stay out a little longer, and then consider vacationing or going away for an extended time. It could potentially end in an argument, but these are also healthy elements of good relationships. Truth be told, too much love is never a bad thing, as long as you control how you act and youre aware that they need to be able to breathe in the relationship too. [Read:What to do when youre feeling uncertain about your relationship]. Take your time alone and apart. However, when you feel smothered in a relationship and the person is exceptionally clingy, you will see yourself plastered all over your mates social sites, whether you want your life made public or not. The key is to make it clear that you need X amount of time alone. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. In some cases, its possible to make someone feel suffocated and smothered in a relationship and it can affect how close you continue to be. As Dr. LeslieBeth Wish licensed clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of Training Your Love Intuition previously explained to Elite Daily, If the behavior becomes verbally cruel or physically threatening, seek counseling just for you to learn about developing a safe plan. You just need some room to breathe. So, if they ask for space, openly give it to them. When someone is capable and permitted to disrespect another person in the ways discussed here, it takes honest effort on the part of each partner to make changes. Do you get threatened if someone at a party tries to catch your partners eyes? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4845754/, https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/9-ways-less-clingy-your-relationship.html, Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. Theyll give you tailored advice to use with your partner. Being smothered and suffocated in your relationship can be extremely frustrating and stressful. [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that predict a bad future ahead]. Anxiously attached people tend to have a lot of drama in their relationships. If theyre crazy about you, thatll be a powerful motivational tool, and the attention imbalance will slowly shift. This can happen for any number of reasons, and can manifest in different ways. Generational trauma, gender [Read:How to make the absolute most out of your alone time]. They consider leaving you. As Winter previously explained, Your partner's incessant need to know where you are at all times is a sign of deep insecurity." By doing this, youll be able to avoid feeling jealous of anyone else who gets close to your partner as a friend. b. If you are feeling smothered in a relationship, there might be a chance that they are too and might not know it. require work. Here are 11 signs he's insecure about being in a relationship with you: 1. It can be good toobjectively and honestly reminisce on what drew you to this individual initially. Are their life skills and achievements comparable to yours? When it comes to your partner feeling smothered in a relationship, you need to accept that your actions are causing it, but also that perhaps the blame isnt 100% on you too. Do you realize just how shaky this arrangement could turn out to be in the long run? Websmother: 1 v deprive of oxygen and prevent from breathing Othello smothered Desdemona with a pillow Synonyms: asphyxiate , suffocate asphyxiate , stifle , suffocate be Perhaps your mate is unaware of their behavior and how its affecting you. Especially losing you to someone else. BPD and relationships equal emotional rollercoasters. Overbearing parents make people want to move out of their house. Our natural response to feeling smothered in any situation is either to remove ourselves, or stop that situation from crushing us. These need to be firm with no allowances for stepping outside without the likelihood of losing the partnership. Make it a very specific amount so that they have a clear expectation of when you will see each other again. Sometimes we know in our hearts that someone isnt good for us and they arent what we want. Do you find yourself trying to get touchy-feely, or bursting into giggles, or looking for other ways to distract your partner? [Read:How to successfully break up with an obsessive partner]. And, it probably drives them to cling harder. And the more you go proving your love, the more youll build yourself up for heartbreak. Boredom or disillusionment in relationships. That works well if were trapped under a duvet or stuck in a closet, but its very different when were dealing with another person and their mental and emotional state. Actions speak far louder than words and take less time. Maybe you arent feeling smothered, maybe you just know that things arent right. However, a partnership should never feel like a burden, and if youre feeling smothered in a relationship, then there a few keys signs youll likely start to notice. A suffocating relationship can take a number of forms. It can be a needy partner who craves your attention and leaves no room for friends or family. A mate who just appears at the most inopportune time assuming themselves into your schedule is not respectful of having your personal space. Generally, when someone is clingy or unreasonably jealous, a self-esteem issue often leads to old baggage that needs airing to get beyond it. [Read:15 rules to set healthy relationship boundaries]. After all, many of us are addicted to smothering without even realizing it! Spending time with a partner should always be a choice, not an obligation. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. There are many reasons why it could be happening, but working it out comes with being honest with yourself and asking the question: am I suffocating my partner? If you make it a win-win scenario that you both get what you want out of a little space, then they wont view it as a negative or get nervous that you are saying adios. Its because you crave their affection, you want their attention, or probably because you may want to help them with their troubles, or you may want to protect them. But now you mostly stay at home and watch TV. Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff. When two people expose their vulnerabilities without judgment from either person, safety and security abound. Distance can also enable poor communication patterns to become established. Such behavior is downright smothering, and putting the onus on them to make the contact is highly controlling and manipulative. In such situations like this, its fine to send a text message or two with a hows it going or I love you. Thats kind of what being a couple is all about, and if the other half objects to that then it is they who have the problem. If you And youll expect the same gesture back from your lover. [Read: Why people take you for granted 16 signs and firm ways to stop them]. But are you doing it because you think itll make your lover feel better? Romantic partnerships require work. 5. Grab Now! This is just another case of smothering and misusing love. A partner who constantly craves attention is sure to make you feel smothered in a relationship. The lack of autonomy in a committed relationship means that one or both partners feel uncomfortable or offended at the idea of having healthy boundaries. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. It isnt realistic or healthy to have your partner track your location at any given moment, and it's important you maintain your autonomy, even if you're someone's partner. There should be no fear that a mate will grow irritated or jealous over an imaginary scenario based on insecurity and low self-esteem. When a person feels insecure, they often either try to overpower them (like being overbearing, making plans without asking, invading space to establish dominance), or cling to them so they dont lose their position. And the more your partner avoids giving you attention, the more youll start to smother them with affection in the hope of reciprocation. Anxiety: Childhood trauma increases the risk of anxiety. You might realize that you really do want this person in your life and are willing to do what it takes to make your relationship better. Perhaps your lover is a manic ball of stress, who talks endlessly at you without checking in to see how youre doing. [Read: Attention seeking behavior and why some people go looking for drama all the time]. 1. What does suffocation feel like in a relationship? Black love is the ultimate goal but predators camouflage their manipulative tactics to lure women. However, each person needs to realize when theres an issue and do their part to work towards a positive outcome to achieve relationship success. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that we forget about what matters to us. Couples in long distance relationships often speak about how the distance has actually helped them learn to communicate well, and at a very deep level. Fear of being abandoned and being smothered show up in a lot of ways. No matter how or why youre feeling suffocated in a relationship, the end result is missing out on the joy and fulfillment a healthy romantic partnership is supposed to bring. They alternate between feeling insecure about your love and feeling smothered by it and withdrawing. If you find that youre constantly getting a It makes them think, Well, if they lie about one thing, they can lie about anything., It is okay to tell someone you feel smothered and need some freedom. [Read:The reasons why empathy is vital in a relationship]. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. WebHere are six signs you might be smothering your spouse. Such everyday little things are clear examples of overprotection and hierarchy in which your partner believes to be higher than [Read: 30 sexy ways to spice up your relationship and get your partner excited to be with you]. The real reasons why you feel it and how to fix it]. Its only when you can get that bit of space between you that you can think clearly about the situation. It can be a codependent relationship that demands all your time and energy. This is the most common sign that something is wrong with your relationship. Feeling suffocated in a relationship can lead to you intentionally finding ways to avoid spending time with your partner. If you begin to feel like leaving your apartment requires a sign-out sheet, then its usually a sign of being smothered in your relationship. [Read:The checklist you need to start your relationship off right]. If things are no longer healthy and you dont see a way back for you both as a couple, you are under no obligation to stay, no matter how difficult it might be and how hard your partner might take your decision. Assert yourself and your boundaries out loud, even if it feels rude to do so. When you lie to someone, you put them on guard. This is one of the signs theyre feeling smothered in a relationship. That can be immensely draining, and who wants to be sexually intimate with a person who needs to be babied all the time? We are afraid to be alone or to tell the other person. And this cycle would continue until both of you are confused, annoyed, and bitter all the time! They need you to talk at or to listen to their issues, fix their problems, and satiate their desires, but they rarely if ever take note of what your needs are. (14 Possible Reasons), What To Do If Your Husband Constantly Gropes You, 9 Ways To Respond To Unsolicited Advice From Others, My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex? (What To Do About It), Just Found Out Your Spouse Cheated Years Ago? When views are stifled to the point you dont feel you can speak your mind or express how you feel on virtually any subject, including the relationship, thats incredibly suffocating and a horrible situation in which to be involved. 23 signs, why they push and what you need to do ASAP, 25 honest truths and ways to stop feeling ignored by someone you love, 18 serious warning signs of a clingy guy and how you can avoid them, 15 signs of manipulation in a relationship you should never ignore, How to stop being so insecure in a relationship and learn to love better, The right way to give your partner space in the relationship, The good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to social media and your relationship, How to walk away from the destructive energy of jealousy, Time apart in a relationship 21 signs, reasons why and how to do it right, The checklist you need to start your relationship off right, How to successfully break up with an obsessive partner, 22 new relationship advice to have a perfect start and avoid the mistakes newbies make, How to give space in a relationship and grow closer instead of drifting apart, Why people take you for granted 16 signs and firm ways to stop them, Why am I so jealous? [Read:How to walk away from the destructive energy of jealousy]. But if you try to tell them that you need alone time, theyll panic. Feeling self-conscious about everything and assuming the worst will cause you to act in ways that make your partner feel smothered in a relationship. How to know when to give someone space Dont be THAT person! Staying with someone when you dont know how you feel about them isnt doing either of you any favors. If your relationship ever feels more unsafe than stifling, then its time to seek help. If your SO insists on spending all your free time together, then this prevents the two of you from having space for yourself or to be with your own friends. Saying no to these warrants an argument. Plus, they also help you decide if this is something you both want to fight for or not. A quick sweep across the internet on the topic of love, and it swiftly becomes apparent that conventional wisdom on the subject would have us believe that you simply cant have enough of it. Not Feeling Grateful? No one likes being smothered. If you feel like youre smothering your partner or if your partner ever tells you they need more space, here are some things you need to do to take the stress off the relationship. Be compassionate toward their insecurities, but dont pander to them. This is emotional blackmail of the worst kind! When the shoe is on the other foot, it can be frustrating and annoying, but its possible to change the future of your union and stop feeling suffocated in a relationship that you otherwise enjoy being in. Someone whos smarter, stronger, better looking, has a better job, better health, etc. Even feeling smothered in a relationship can sometimes lead to an ending if efforts to work through the problem are fruitless. Some therapists and counselors (and regular people) call it going into his man cave.. Its difficult when you feel that your partner isnt giving you enough space. As Kali Rogers, who founded Blush Online Coaching, previously told Elite Daily, "Having your own autonomy is so critical to not only your overall happiness, but for your relationship's, as well.". Relationships are a journey, not a final destination. It might also be a good idea for your partner to see an individual mental health therapist if their need to be with you has reached this extreme level. When talking to you, their body is turned aside and their eye contact is only fleeting, indicating they are trying not to commit to a conversation, which might lead to further one-on-one time. By constantly feeling like you need to do more, you may end up making things worse than better. Be innovative and look for new ways to keep things exciting in love. Instead, its a draped arm or hand half-heartedly fulfilling the constant contact that your partner feels they must dutifully attend to. Whether it is that your significant other clings to you like an octopus or they get upset if you want to do anything without them, be honest and find a way to create distance.
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