george carlin birthday quotes

"Carlin on Campus". Showing search results for "George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes" sorted by relevance. Some are funny, some are insightful, but they're all packed with his typical brutal honesty. And armbands. Documentary, Comedy, 2005. Happy Birthday to you! George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.18.In America, anyone can become president. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George will always be remembered by his fans for the influence he has had on various angles of their lives. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong., Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?, The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept., When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.". George Carlin (1998). The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. 172 Copy quote. The older you get, the more attractive you become. Happy 60th Birthday! Forget the politicians. At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, d..k Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. George Carlin Quotes. 25 Insanely Funny George Carlin Quotes . Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. Fewer Texans. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. At 68 I'm every age I ever was. Login Sign Up. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. We have the war on crime, the war on, There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Related Topics. Funny, Sarcastic, Witty. Oh especially three. - George Carlin. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. You must have a lot of stories to tell. Happy 65th Birthday! Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. I liked the radio comedians. Weve added years to life, not life to years.16.Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.17.When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. There's a humorous side to every situation. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. "Life Is Worth Losing". They should be giving their money to you.39.I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. Age, Pay, Hell. God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. "Democracy Now!" with Amy Goodman, www.democracynow.org. Related Topics. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Good. If you have quotes you would like us to cover, please contact us. We just can't stop people from being homeless if that's their choice. The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you. Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Every day we present the best quotes! And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.40.Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.41.Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.42.I have as much authority as the Pope. "The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.". However, he is mostly known for his dark comedy that sheds light on a variety of subjects like politics, psychology, taboo subjects, religion and the English language. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. Famous Birthday Quote. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. George Carlin (1998). I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. That's our history. The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Thank God people dont age as fast as other creatures, because otherwise youd be gone by now. Youve seen or experienced a lot of wonderful things all these years. If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him. In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>>. Voltaire. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' It certainly qualifies. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Custom and user added quotes with pictures. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. 1 of 10. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball. I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute("id","ad25fff6afc452fed4d50cd58278ff8c");document.getElementById("i20ae56af4").setAttribute("id","comment"); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. - George Carlin. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.". Try spelling Evian backward.10.Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., 11.Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away.12.Think off-center.13.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.14.Dont just teach your children to read. Every passing year brings in an experience and a hope for tomorrow. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. George Carlin. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.9.Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.". There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Thank you! When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse. Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom. Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.45.I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam.46.I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.47.Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. May your smile get brighter with each passing year. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. Maybe this time itll work., One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor., Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town., Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity., Its never just a game when youre winning., I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam., Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy., People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think., I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that., A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff., If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little., Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations.

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