my sons girlfriend doesn t like me

Tell us what you love about her." Be honest and help him connect the dots between his relationship and the manipulative behaviour. 65 Likes, TikTok video from Ryan The Lion (@ryantrout1): "Me when my girlfriend doesn't want to hang out with me". my son has been with a girl for 2 years now the family can't stand her. Explain to him how his girlfriends behaviour is undesirable. Now this woman is expecting us to resolve her issues. My son wants to tell me and he has an expectation that I should welcome her with open arms (she has never been welcome in my home). Period. What occurred next is when I saw my son next I pointed out the stains and explained what I had to do. Scarlet announced to my son that she was going to get her kids and bring them to live with them and she can't/won't pay anything. I got him home, cleaned him up (she had dragged him down in just a few short months) - he was dirty and stinky! Now mind you this girl is wayy better looking than your . I did go to the grandparent day breakfast at his headstart program and his hair was so stiff from not being washed and his clothing was filthy. Whenever I would tell my son anything, he then went back and told her about it. THAT calls to the little boy in him. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. I haven't said anything cos I don't want to hurt my son and put him in the middle of something that he is not responsible for. So things are a bit strained to say the least. They are having sex (he denied it, but I found evidence otherwise), so this must be the hold she has on him. She has told my son that she wants nothing to do with me and I am fine with this. Kimberly Atkins from Cameron, NC on May 26, 2018: This article gave me a different perspective and some things to consider on my sons relationship. Where is this leading him? If you were only good to them and they still treat you this way, I would sit them down for a talk to find out what they are thinking. My son was with a girl we did not approve of and he even planned on marrying her. A wiser young man would let her go and revisit that relationship if and when she became a better version of herself. I only charged her $300 a month rent and she could eat what I put in the refrigerator. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. It sounds as though she has problems and your son might have his own self-esteem issues so that he feels better than she is, that he doesn't deserve better or that he can help/save her. There is only one real red flag to be concerned about: violence. Let other life situations, including their immaturity, test their relationship. Youre his mom and that doesnt mean you can be his gf or wife. Anything I say or do is considered wrong and I no longer know how to behave . He said it was his male friend who visited him but not the girl! A manipulative relationship can lead to intimacy, trust, respect, and security problems. "Her family might have been poor but this only gives her determination to help our family's finances." HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Have you ever been to (your family vacation spot)? NOW is the time to be very, very careful in his choice. I'm sorry that I haven't checked in for a long time. she also attends college and skips classes often which being under my roof and acting in such an irresponsible way around my younger son is upsetting, my boys just don't do these kinds of things. Within 1 1/2 years, she has had five jobs. Confronting them will not likely end well. It is natural for a mother to feel territorial. He is an adult and doesn't seem to be concerned about her sitting around smoking all day, not cleaning up or contributing to the bills. She's four years older than me. What d you do in this case ? Why does it feel bad? My girlfriend is the humblest and kindest women I have ever met and I like her for who she is and not what she has. Indeed, it must be very difficult for you to witness the neglect of your grandchild. When she went to get the other child, her family would not let her take the older child. Break the ice with some funny family stories and invite her to share her own memories with your son. I have tried everything possible to promote my son and help me succeed professionally. Invasive or insensitive questions about the relationship, her personal life, or her background. We have asked he try to have a few days apart from her solely for his own mental health,self time for hobbies and study. She is an only child and she also works at the same place of employment as our son. I implore you all not to cut ties with your son for any reason. Questions about her commitment or plans for the relationship. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. Teens today have it hard. So I said, okay.. By the time he graduated (6 mos later), they spend almost every day together (entirely at her home since we wouldn't let them stay in the basement and "make-out" all the time. Needy Nellie. Once your son is older, you can only nurture him gently with love and support. It's no longer about what you want for him or what you think is best for him. He/her is guessing. I can't support this relationship any more and he doesn't get it! What are their reasons? The ages of both your son and is girlfriend makes it really hard to get through. In fact, I discovered later, the picture was taken several years earlier. Be sure in your letter to tell him that there always, always, always will be an open door to your home and heart for him. Good luck. Hi Doc, my Son is 18 and his girlfriend is the same age. She looked nothing like the picture she had sent to his cell. Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son (who is in high school) has had a girlfriend for the past year. As parents, there can be clear signs that my sons girlfriend is manipulative. She holds his celphone, or bag pack and they always sit together. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. Don't baby him. Her baby was born Dec 2012. The important matter to focus on is that you aren't an underage child or young adult and you don't need your mother's approval for this relationship. I feel at a loss because my son and I have always been close until she came along. my sons girlfriend doesn t like me Real Estate Software Dubai > blog > my sons girlfriend doesn t like me Jun 12, 2022 british airways sustainability report 2020 But shrug your shoulders and say, "It's your life. Unfortunately, your deeply in love son may not yet be in a position to differentiate an. I didn't want the idea of that girl always around my son she follows him everywhere! Then, something said, "Call to the kitten." We asked our son what this was all about and I brought up several reasons including the possibility of her being pregnant. This way, he'll learn quick that you are not controlling or directing his choices. Well, he told her and the woman blasted my sweet friend (and me) on social media so that the world could see!! He is experimenting with other personality types than those he has been used to dating. But you did give me a good idea about turning this subject into a blog! Don't give up. It is heartbreaking. In this way, you will show him that it isn't that you do not "like" the girl. He might insist that he "loves" her so do not challenge that. My son sent me tx message saying he was sorry that he lied to me! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the things that have transpired through those years.first off, my son never officially introduced me to this woman. Although it is disheartening, it also gives me a sense of support - as this subject has been one that has been very difficult to handle for the past 2 years in my house. Anyway, my heart goes out to each of you for what you are going through. Her mom kicked her out of the house a fact we recently just found out as his girlfriend told us she moved out. The first two weeks of uni he is already not making lectures & wants to defer; he is already aware he is failing and needs to quit. So the gift and dinner out with my mom and that I had planned were canceled. Reach out and make the effort. He may feel awkward about being around her at the same time he is with his family. Possible Reasons Why Your Son Is With A Manipulative Girlfriend, 3. She told me her daughter is a chronic liar and makes things up. He did end up getting an apartment a few weeks later (with our help), and is currently enrolled in a local college. It takes courage and strength to do the right thing by breaking up now. Do you think that they might blame you for their father's leaving the family? I am right there with you! kirmizi biber substitute; medical kidnapping in florida; glucocorticosteroid vs albuterol for anaphylaxis Now we just ask we know where he is since he lives with us still. For now, don't tell your fianc about all this. It is not uncommon for both men and women to want to rescue someone. He is going to hang on until she or he discover that there is more out there than each other. Anyway, at this time she is refusing to let me see my grandson. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on July 27, 2010: Hi Laila, there is so much to know before I can really help. This way, he can see you are not being mean or negative towards her in any way. Hi Lori. please help.I have a difficulty with my mother currently. I greatly appreciate your feedback. u don't have a job, u shouldn't pay for ur friend's food! Hi Doc, my Son is 18 and his girlfriend is the same age. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on December 08, 2017: Susan, this sounds like less of a problem about the girlfriend and more with your adult son. If you know he has always been respectful, thechange may be because he is trying to breakaway, MY SON HAS BEEN DATING A GIRL FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.SINCE HE HAS BEEN WITH HER HE HAS CHANGED SO MANY WAYS. What's your favorite food? my sons girlfriend doesn t like me. The hard part is hoping your son will wake up before making any lifelong commitment to this girl. The easiest way to break tension is to share a laugh. The passing of his father, my husband had impacted us both and I believed we were always going to be close. In most cases. We were trying to give him support until he found his first professional job. Do you still talk to your son and express that his family loves and misses him? I will definitely implement the advice herein, and it will definitely bring about positive results. Don't nag him about college or breaking up with her. A 16-year-old girl with those types of problems most likely has moved on to another guy while your son is in detention center. I trust you. I decided to post this comment because I am proof that doing right by your child or a person does not mean that you will be okay. And in our case, my son wouldn't go to counseling so we had to provide a little for him through our our heartfelt communication. Its your parental responsibility to take action and start a conversation with your son about his manipulative partner. What can I do? We have enjoyed a good relationship for the past 18 months with our son, he has telephoned me everyday, visited his grandparents and us, now he's ignoring us all again. I feel I have some real concerns here. Any questions that may come across as judgmental or accusatory. I have addressed this too asking him to look after his body as it also makes me very allergic when even clothing is brought into the house with nicotine traces. VPEtalent is seeking concerned and dynamic parents who think their teen or 20something is dating the wrong person for a new docu-reality show for MTV's international channels. But if they do it after getting in a relationship, you should consider some stringent friendly actions that will limit their interactions with their new partner. I say then support the girlfriend don't put up with ugly behavior from your son towards women. Heres what to do if you hate your sons girlfriend. After Christmas last year he suddenly informed us that he found an apartment closer to her. We never see him, though, and I see on facebook that they are constantly doing things together~just nothing with his side of the family. My eldest son is a well educated child, good exam results, excellent uni then he started a relationship with a woman and it totally changed him. I didn't smother her with love just showed her that she was special. She hasn't wanted to get to know our family from the beginning. Thank YOU for posting. I will be praying for you! he graduated from high school with honors and he earned his Bachelor's degree in Biology in 3 years (with honors). She has always made up some excuse except when Christmas camethen she wanted to go to the big family Christmas gathering. Tiredofthinkingmom on September 05, 2017: Lou--- yes sir we are living that now good God she may be the twin of our sons gf! She has placed a huge wedge between us. They know that my husband and I don't like it at all. About 11:45 that evening , there is a knock at the door and girlfirend is standing there crying histerically with her mother. He's going to let her ruin his life. Talking to your son about sex is scary enough but talking to him about what and when it is okay to touch someone and when it's not can be even harder. Cus he loves her duhhh!! A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out. It's hard for him because it's his first love. Maybe write it in a letter or note. Not once did she bring her children and to be honest, she was not allowed. She is very controlling and walks around like she is better than us or above us. My heart feels broken into a million pieces.please help me understand if Im doing something wrong. You kicked him out. I am crying because I was hurt of what he did! I apologize for not checking in to respond to these comments (deaths in family and other medical issues). But he is happy, and you did not mention anything about the girl or her parents having a negative impact on your son's life or happiness aside from his not living the way you think he should. What's something fun that you and (your son) have done lately? We had work of our own to do. Is there anything you want to tell us? She is disrespectful, leaves things all over the place, waste food, milk..etc, she is rude to anyone that is not one of her few personal friends and she only has a couple. "The key is to start from . The VERY 1st time I met her did not turn out goodclothing (left nothing to ghe imagination); cussed horribly (every other word was the F bomb); and she was SO extremely disrespectful to my son (he just stood there like a deer caught in the headlights and took it). Because it isn't always breaking up with a horrible person or when there isn't any love left. The final nail in that relationship was ahe cheated on him with his best friend! I am a stepdad to an 18/19 yo son, and yes I do mean son, as that is how I see him, and not my stepson. Plus, she is the mother of your one-year-old. He text and said he's ok don't worry. No one likes to throw away love. They're only driven by their biology and what feels good or what makes them feel "alive" which sadly, means drama. It is hard to teach young ones that breaking up feels bad but it is better than breaking up when there is so much more at stake such as divorce and children. Lesson learned! By. There is a Japanese proverb that goes, "Bend the tree while it is young." I never forgot the first day Scarlet walked into the hotel room, she had earring coming of our her mouth, nose, and tattoos all over her back. Instead of losing your son, you may gain a daughter and even a very good friend. But he might have found his life mate at an early age. "Nice" young ladies/girls can have sexual hang-ups. His girlfriend couldn't choose between them. I asked my son again, if she is his girlfriend, and said, no! We went to visit him a few months ago, we emptied his flat which we are now having to rent out to cover the mortgage payments. I don't want to talk to my son. Thanks for the most valuable advice. We moved to a different town to be closer to aging parents, and he continued to drive an hour and a half every day to see her (he would go after/before his job). Send out lots of love to him. It is a love he can truly count on while romantic love with the opposite sex is, well, fragile and easily broken. My son began dating this girl when he was 17. He wants to be her champion. Visit them alone sometimes. and just got engaged to this girl against what his family thinks! The second court notice (this time with a mediator). Are you protesting this relationship? Then things got even worse. He has basically dumped his family. It's a hormone thing in many people. They are OPPORTUNISTS. Right now, you are being the major bump. Plus, you have been a great financial help to your mother, and she might feel that you will be strapped if you also have to support your girlfriend, too. She sounds like an extremely insecure person who needs to self-protect. I asked him 3 times and said no! Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content. His driving has changed since he smokes he drives more irrationally now, was a great calm driver till he started smoking. The cops that responded to her police call informed her that it was a civil matter. do oysters taste like fish. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. She's 52 years old! The request for him to be home is solely for him to have some healthy space for himself and to focus on study occasionally. The right girl for him will love his family, too, because his family is a big part of him and who he is. She is into voo doo and casting spells. For kids who have led the straight and narrow lifestyle for all their lives, the rebel or laid back lifestyle suddenly can feel liberating. My son is mixed up with a true bitch! Since she returned home with her younger child, she has been working my son who suddenly thinks raising one child is doable and the other child is not coming. She is trying to keep him from his family, I really hates her! She sent me a horrible message asking me why I am doing this and it's not fair. Always communicating and bonding with his siblings and grandparents. The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. It takes a humble soul--and love--to be able to offer an apology for any wrongdoings. He sold the Camaro he had(that he owed money to his older brother for and used what he got for it to put more towards the new 2016 car he purchased for his girlfriends parents). He told her and then called me later to tell me that she was highly offended and never wanted me to do their laundry again and that all of that clothing belonged to her son. We made the mistake of letting her live in our home 5 months ago and my home has become so uncomfortable that we have asked her to move out. It seems that the more I took his side or stood up for myself, I was no longer useful to either one. People tell that hate is a strong word but there is no other way to describe how. They moved near me with her baby was about 3 months of age. 210K views, 25K likes, 8.6K loves, 132K comments, 25K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Zion Prayer Movement Outreach: NIGHT OF OPEN HEAVEN (22ND APRIL,. Will she take him away from us? But that's not an option anymore. He has not shared this information with me yet (only Dad supposedly knows). He is still dependent on us, only has a part time job, just finished school, starting uni and her influence of always needing him & her party lifestyle is rubbing off. You might also ask his closest friend, cousin or sibling to talk with him. Young lovers are blind to serious red flags in their relationships which is why mothers become so alarmed when they see what they perceive to be poor choices, but its important to refrain from being petty. If she is using tricks to get something she wants from her. Things continued to worsen. If they are spending much time together and less time on school or other activities. Your son reacts negatively or flinches in her presence. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on December 24, 2012: Don't make a big deal about their engagement. Its normal for your adolescent boy to separate from his family. This has caused some problems be she has anxiety issues and panic attacks and these are exacerbated by any contact with me. As his parents, you have to let him ride this one out to see which way it goes. He should be open to common sense. If there is friction, it is caused by her. In-love with love notwith you. Everyone has value. When I told my son that a woman who does not cook for herself, will not cook for you, he replied "women don't cook anymore." She smokes like a chimney. They spoke emotionally about how starting in June 2020 through the spring of 2021, O'Connor allegedly hosted parties for her teenage son and his friends, "facilitating and watching" their sex acts . Be direct: "What have I done to make you treat me this way?" It is too much to even write. Take the initiative when you sense genuine estrangement. You don't have to admit to anything you're NOT sorry for but do apologize for letting your anger and frustration get the best of you and do tell him that you regret ever telling him to move out. Please seek legal counsel. It's that she's so bloody rude! We ask them to come in to discuss this and the mother will not even sit down. She pretends to be having no issue to me at times but I am concerned that this will have a negative impact on our relationship with her (mother) once we get married. Why not invite them both to join you and your family for dinner. All she talks about is herself. What could they have in common other that sex? What should I do. My family and I were sure to surround my son with lots of love all the time so he knew what a loving family he had and what he would be missing if he had to make a choice. I said okay, but changed his mind and said, give me $30 instead because I want to treat "the girl" with me! I have proof that this girl was a stripper and a prostitute! We don't see the spiritual powers at work, and this experience may be invaluable in building his character and life knowledge. The woman has started expressing dislike for my three year old grandson. 6. It seems that you have raised a young man who is independent, open-minded, tolerant . Now my mother keeps on asking how she is studying and who is paying for her fees, even if i explain to her, she would go and talk about it with other family member/s. My issue is that she comes over to our house at least 3 days a week, but I asked my son if there's something between him and the girl, but he said they're just friends. Then the exams started and they chose to see each other on the Saturday. also, this girl has done some things that have been very disturbing as well, that would scare any mother. After her relentless begging, I decided to let her move in because I thought the only way he is going to know her is to live with her. Two days later, the mom calls to ask me to go to lunch "since the kidss are going to be together". Would he want his son to cut him out of his life over a girl? I always tell him to be honest and don't lie to me if ever she likes someone else so I know whats going on with him. During that time, my son was dating this new woman and she was still pregnant and also directly after the birth of her child. He saw that her depression, dark attitude, and erratic behavior would not be good for children and that his life would be forever difficult. Don't force him to choose between you and the girl. Her views on sensitive or controversial topics such as religion or politics. The parents only work a few hours a week because they are on state insurance and if they go over hour then they lose the insurance! You have had decades with him while she has had only a year or so. Meanwhile, let him know you're his forever family. When I bought my grandson those items I also purchased clothing in 12 month size at her request for her son. My son's girlf friend will sleep over in his room. Any advice for us.his siblings miss him terribly, and so do his father and I! Your reasons are sound and valid from a parent's perspective, but in all honesty, you have to remember that he has a life of his own. Bryanne Salazar. Your son must be a person who sees the good in all people and who tries to fix them. During this time I have tried to be as kind and helpful to my son and his new girlfriend. I have been helping my mom during this time. Why? Everyone is worth rescuing. And her son came running home: Chimp Stealing Kitten Dream Interpretation, http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art30033.asp. Parents may see through their sons girlfriend, but there are other red flags keep an eye on. No socialization there . It honestly sounds as if neither your son or his girlfriend are fit parents. When they first . My son is blinded (21) and doesn't see the red flags all of our family members have seen in his life since he has met this girl and her parents. OTOH, I personally did not know anyone from my group of friends, or relatives, or coworkers around my age who owned a house by their "late 20s" and I can not think of any of my children's friends, co-workers adult children, nieces or nephews who owned a house before their early or mid 30s (or even later). I didn't critize her when she relayed through my son, how mean it was of me to overlook doing something for her to celebrate her first mother's day. ParentalQuestions.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com and its partnered brands/websites. If things didn't go well, how do you get your parents to like your boyfriend? Only his. You've set down solid foundations for him, and he is branching out and experimenting with his freedom. The pros and cons of social media (like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, and Tumblr) on teenagers. We do try and invite them all the time, but there is always an excuse as to why he can't make it. Other obvious signs that should prompt you to take action on this matter are: Also, parents need to understand why their sons commit to any manipulative relationship before taking any action. Here is my advice: For the time being, don't fight against this girl or this relationship. There is a social hierarchy with a code of acceptance or rejection. On the other hand, my father likes my girlfriend a lot, he even called me and recently told me that my girlfriend checked him when he was admitted to hospital. So my question is, what should I do? If he is okay with them, you should be too. He has never been pressured to study anything he does not want to - made his own choices & is supported in his hobbies & passions; which she is not really supporting as they take time from her. And that will drive them both away. I'm at a loss over what to do about my 23 year old son's older "fiance". I have just read through some of your postings and it has brought tears to my eyes. That is all. We have carted them about, they never offer petrol. He began to see our points, and he broke up with this girl. I know from experience! She sleeps with multiple men at a time and has advertised her "services" on Backpage and Erotic Monkey. You can tell him why you're upset but repeat that you love him and regret driving him out, that it was the biggest mistake of your life because he is the love of your life. You may want to introduce an activity that keeps them occupied instead of spending time with the manipulative partner. Kids sometimes might be in such a relationship out of fear of abandonment. Tell him to reflect on his relationship to see if it has had positive effects on him as far as his health habits and educational/future opportunities. Another essential step you should consider is scheduling consistent family time.

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